The 26-year-old new mom chatted with Zane Lowe on Apple Music, recalling how she wasn’t writing an album that reflected sunshine and butterflies, but instead more about nightmares she was having along the way.
“I knew the whole time I made this album and made the film that people were going to be like, ‘For someone like Halsey, who’s had miscarriages and whatever, she shouldn’t have been working so hard. Would it have killed her to stay home and relax for the baby?’” she says. “I knew there was going to be that immediately.”
Click inside to see what Halsey shared about how her pregnancy affected her album…
Halsey went on in her conversation, emphasizing that it’s “so nuanced, because the reason that the album is sort of this horror theme, you know what I mean, is because this experience, in a way has its horrors.”
“I think everyone who has heard me yearn for motherhood and yearn for this for so long, would have expected me to write the album that was full of gratitude. And instead I was like, ‘No, this shit is so scary and so horrifying. And my body’s changing and I have no control over anything. And I do finally have this thing I want. So I wake up and fear every single day that I’m going to lose it.’”
Halsey recalled having people ask her if she was living a dream being pregnant, and she admits that she was not, and that in turn, affected how her pregnancy then affected others’ profitability.
“I’m like, ‘No, actually I have nightmares about waking up in a pool of my own blood.’ That’s actually what it’s like. That’s happening at night, and then you wake up in the morning and you have to call the CEO of X, Y, Z and say, ‘Hey, hi. I’m just calling to let you know, I’m pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. I didn’t want you to find out on Instagram. I wanted to tell you myself, personally. It’s still business as usual over here though, don’t worry. Don’t worry. My personal choice isn’t going to affect your profitability or your productivity or your assembly line. And also, in what world would you ever have to call me to tell me that you were having a baby? But I have to call you because it impacts your product.’”
Halsey also revealed that there were even certain “publications that were like… You know, we were going out and trying to set up magazine covers based around the album release, and they were like, ‘Yeah, but is she going to be pregnant? Because we don’t want to do a maternity cover.’”
While she argued it wasn’t a maternity cover, which it wasn’t, there was still pushback.
“It’s about my album, I just happen to be pregnant. And they’re like, ‘No, it’s a pregnant cover.’ And I was like, so I can’t go talk about my album?”
She has also been very open up about her plans to have children, and candid about her previous pregnancy losses.