Picture it. Suburbia. The ’90s. Your parents hand you this kinda cute thing that’s made of one of the weirdest materials in existence (hello, plastic bean pellets!). They called it a “Beanie Baby?” Eh, sure, I’m a kid, what do I know? Now cut to over 20 years later and you’re sipping martinis in your sunny Monaco mansion because someone on the internet wanted to buy your Beanie Baby for, like, a lot of money. In this economy, the nerve!
Okay, sorry to burst the fantasy I just laid out for you, but here are some hard truths. Not every Beanie Baby is that valuable, there are a lot of conditions that render it that way. It depends on which “generation” it’s from (how early it was made), what kind it is, whether it was made for a special occasion, how many were made, even what pellets were used, and—obviously—the condition it’s in. Apparently, the more errors there are, the more valuable it is? Phew. According to this online Beanie Baby price guide, the ones that sell for exorbitant prices are often ordinary items that just get inflated. A lot of these prices are based on bids rather than the actual value. With that, it pays to do a little research to make sure that your Beanie is a valuable Beanie and not a regular Beanie and find the right vendor, not just eBay or Etsy. There are even online social media groups where vendors come together and chat all things Beanie!
And yet, being the caring, generous BFFs that we are, we dove into the deep, deep world of the eBay Beanie Baby market and resurfaced with 29 lil Babies that are selling for prices that would make them Bougie Babies. Do you have any hiding in our parent’s storage unit?? If yes, can we be friends?
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this royal one
The 1997 bear dedicated to Princess Diana is not as rare as people say (judging by the hundreds of eBay listings for it). But it’s definitely worth the most. I mean, holy spirit above, this person’s about to be richer than…everyone I know IRL.
this pepé le pew impersonator
Apparently what makes this skunk so valuable is all the mistakes on the tags, although I’d say the name “stinky” does a fair enough job of marketing it.
this actual joke of a price
Piccadilly the Clown
Tbh, the only thing we’re laughing at are the zeroes in its price tag.
this squishy doxie
Half a million. Weenie the dog is worth half a million. I’m sure Toy Story’s Slinky is off somewhere shooketh and we can only sympathize.
this patriotic one
If I had that much money laying around somewhere, I’d probably shell it out too for this little one for that name alone.
this pink dream
this aquatic wanderer
Credited on one tag as Lips the fish and on another as Tiny the chihuahua, what probably makes this Beanie so valuable is the identity crisis it’s having.
this end-of-an-era relic
The bear was released when the company, Ty, initially decided to cease production. Woof, I guess happy endings do exist when they’re $30,000 worth.
this inedible dino nugget
this pricey reptile
Need a down payment for a house? All you’ve gotta do is sell one of these guys, and voilà!
this teeny giraffe
I think it goes without saying that $45,000 could get you a lifetime supply of mozz sticks and rosé (or help pay off your student loans, I guess, if you want to be responsible), so cross your fingers tight and hope that your Twigs also has the rare clear-star sticker on the tag.
this lobster made of money
Pinchers was one of the nine OG Beanie Babies and now that he’s retired, he’s worth about the price of a new car.
this bill-full one (lol, geddit?)
If your Scoop also has a blank tag, you’ll be in for a gullet-full of cash cash money.
this pristine child
A rare white star on the tag apparently gives this Sparky a certain je ne sais quoi that makes it worth $90,000. The seller also says it’s “museum quality”…whatever that means!
this walrus with a tusk of gold
Looks more like it’s suffering from SAD, but okay! As long as I can pocket $100K, I’m willing to overlook the name choice.
this nocturnal legend
Normally, the words “extra foot” make people pretty uncomfy, but if it’s referring to your Batty Beanie Baby, you should just open up your wallet rn.
this charming threesome
Large Peking, Fortune & China
The fact that they can sell for $98,000 is truly everything that is wrong and right in this world.
this striped moneybag
Is there a cuter name than Bubbles? There is not. Is there anything cuter than earning nearly $90,000—which is how much this guy is going for on eBay—for a retired stuffed fish? There is not.
these wolves of wall street
Hippity, Hoppety & Floppity
this flat-billed monster
Patti the Platypus
Apparently, magenta-colored Pattis are the most sought-after Patti because magenta is the first color she/he/it ever appeared in. The other colors are fuchsia, maroon, and raspberry, which look exactly like magenta.
this one that can buy you love
The most expensive Valentino bears are the rare ones with the misspelled tags. Thanks for nothing, spell-check!
this adorably amorphous creature
Looks more like edamame, but okay.
this studly mallard
Have you ever met a more potentially valuable Jake?
Please enjoy this live reenactment of me listing old Beanie Babies on eBay.
Britannia the Bear
All hail the bear, etc., etc.
A good chunk of your student-loan bill could be in that pouch.
this red hot money ticket
This red bull will, wait for it, give you wings (as in, plane tickets or maybe a jet pack?) if you can sell him for a couple thousand dollars like this one.
this basic fall queen
Have a happy Thanksgiving by selling Gobbles and booking a nice beach vacay instead of a turkey dinner.
this truly perplexing one
The American My dream is selling this guy for $4,000 and going shopping.
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